It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

November 29, 2004

Catch phrases

I'm thinking of developing a catch phrase, you know, a tag line. Something to help reinforce the brand. It seems like a natural extensions of my catalogue of poses, and who knows, it might catch on and become a marketing phenomenon like back in 1992, when Mandrill's line: "It's Mandrill Time!" was on T-shirts and Frisbees and shit. Then Mandrill got killed by Night Train on national TV and suddenly the saying was in bad taste.

So it seems like you have to tread the line between catchy/clever and tough and try not to come up with something that will seem corny and dated in ten years.

I wrote some down, and here's what I got so far:

"It's Marauder Time!"
"You just bought yourself an ass kicking."
"I'm gonna rock you like a hurricane!"
"Time to make the donuts!"
"Crime - beware!"
"I like corn!"
"Meet Mr. Fist!"
"Shaka Zulu!"
"I'd like to buy a vowel!"
"Excuse my fist!"
"Ain't no thing but a chicken wing."
"Get ready to RIDE THE LIGHTNING!"
"Don't playa hate, congratulate."
"Welcome to Bitch-Slap City, USA."
"Your face!"
"Pain train's comin'! Woo woo!"
"I'm Number One! You're Number Ten!"
"Crime is a disease - I'm the antibiotic ointment!"
"Who ordered the knuckle sandwich here?"

Okay, those suck. Any suggestions?


Kid Hollywood said...

I want to add to the suggestion to see The Incredibles.
It kicked ass.
Kid Hollywood also says check it out.

Ok, I thought:
"You just bought yourself an ass kicking."
"Meet Mr. Fist!"
"Excuse my fist!"
"Who ordered the knuckle sandwich here?"
are all pretty good.

"I'm Number One! You're Number Ten!"
come from Jimmy Woo? The guy with the huge boat and playboy models hanging on him?

Ok, here are some good ones

Velvet is Macho
I'm not gay
Smooth like buttah
I pity the fool who don't eat my cereal
Whatchoo talkin' bout Willis
Bigger, badder, velvetier.
What's up Doc?
Slide it in.
It's clobberin time!!
Midnight who?
Did you wake up this morning and say to yourself, I want to die today?
That's going to leave a mark.
Pork tastes good.
Is this thing on?
I'm sorry, did you say something?
Marauder each day, keeps the bad guys away.
Are you talkin to me?
Night time is fight time.

Ok, I guess those suck too.


Velvet Marauder said...

Those are funny as hell.

"Night time is fight time!" I love it. I'm using that one on my next patrol, that's classic.

"Slide it in"? I'm a big Whitesnake fan, but I'm not saying that to another guy. That would be a good tag line for Mariposa, the guy in South Beach with butterfly wings, if you know what I mean. You should write tag lines for Highway Star, that heavy metal vigilante dude from So Cal.

Thanks Kid Hollywood! You rule!

Kid Hollywood said...

I don't know much about that guy, but he sounds like a queer.
His catch phrase should be:
"Put it in my butt"
"I'll suck your dick for 20 dollars"
"Girls are gross"

Highway Star?
Dude, I think that guy is a closet fag too.
I mean, I got no problems with the gays, you know. It’s not like I think there is anything wrong with that.
But running around like some washed up old butt rocker from the 80's seems kind of gay to me.
I suppose now he will try to come find me and kick my ass, or explode my head with some freakish banshee scream or something.
I bet he likes Whitesnake too.
Probably had a boner for Coverdale. Halford too I bet.


Arwen said...

Those are pretty funny.
But I'm personally partial to:

"Smash Evil!"
"Maybe I just like to kick villains in the head."

The former being my favourite. Short, to the point, and classic... The latter, just fun. Apollo and I actually say both all the time.

But that's just my two cents.

Velvet Marauder said...

Thanks Arwen! Yeah, I think "Smash Evil" is a good slogan, for T-shirts and shit. I also am partial to "Kicking Evil in the Crotch" or maybe "Kicking Evil in the Bathing Suit Area."

Kid Hollywood, I thank you for your enlightend commentary. I won't tell Highway Star what you said about him. And are you implying that Judas Priest's Rob Halford is gay? 'Cause I don't think so, brother!

Apollo The Dark said...

"Smash Evil" is just the best, man... You have to keep that one! It's classic VM!

Apollo The Dark

owlish said...

I've always been partial to "Spoon!" myself.

K.Fox, Jr. said...

I agree with Kid Hollywood on which ones suck and which ones are cool. 'Smash Evil' and 'Kicking Evil in the Crotch' would be good for your shirts like 'The World is Mine' and 'You Suck' are good for Stewie's (of Family Guy) shirts.

I really liked number two, personally, 'You just bought yourself an a$$ kicking.' (with the dollar signs would be awesome, but I just put them there to bleep it out, I guess)

As for my own ideas, hmmmmm... How about:

"Prepare to get Sacked!!!"

or, when you're fighting minor enemies and you've just decked them, you can taunt them by saying:

"Too strong... for you." (Xui Tan Sour-pun of Sweet And Sour-from the game Kung Fu Chaos)


"Fist meets face."

Sacked is a synonym for marauded. I checked on

PS-The Viking Kittens singing the Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin was awesome.

Rob said...

I am partial to "Time to kick crime in the balls!"