Bad Captain

Evergreen City's newly elected mayor Chip McChesney held his first press conference today. He's very excited about leading our city into the 21st century and is honored that blah blah blah. As promised during his campaign, he wants to work with the Port Authority to expand and modernize our port, wants to extend "growth incentives" to key industries like biotech, give tax breaks to real estate developers, and crack down on crime.

What kind of name is Chip McChesney? That's a singing chipmunk name.

Why am I posting about this? Because at the end of the conference, which I watch on TV, he says:

"I want to make our city safer and saner, and that means curtailing the activities of parahuman vigilantes like the Velvet Marauder. Evergreen City neither asks for nor needs that individual's dubious and illegal brand of justice. This is the 21st century, and our citizens -- all our citizens -- must live under the rule of law.

"To reach that goal, I would like to introduce my candidate for Evergreen City's new police chief, a man with a distinguished career in dealing with parahuman crime. He served with distinction as the captain of the Detroit PD's Major Crimes Unit, and has devoted his life to serving his community. I'd like to introduce Captain Taylor Ryczek, Evergreen City's police chief for a new era of peace and stability."

There's some applause and then Ryczek steps forward. He breaks six feet easy, a big brawny guy that's pushing 50, with a military haircut and clear blue eyes. He kind of looks like that cat who played Big Ed on Twin Peaks, Everett McGill. Here's what he looks like.

This can't be good. Ryczek, that's a bad guy name. In my world, if you have a name like Captain Ryzek, you're trouble.

I'm rarely wrong about this kind of shit.