Best. Halloween. Ever.

You're probably wondering what happened to the rest of the Hungry Ghost zombies.

Right after The Kiss we hear gunshots outside of the Asian Art Museum.

"Manute!" she says. I guess that's her chauffer's name.

"Shit, the zombies! I forgot!"

She's still weak from her battle with the lama, so I carry her downstairs and out to the blood-splattered loading bay. I hear sirens in the distance.

Manute is standing next to Hydrangea's town car holding a smoking pistol. Six zombies sprawl at the big Samoan's feet, each with a single gunshot in their head. Man, who needs a kung fu master chauffer when you can have a crack shot chauffer with a big fucking gun?

"Good shooting, Kato!" I say. Hydrangea hits me.

Manute rolls his eyes and gestures to the car. "Put her in the car, wanker," he says in a British accent. "Coppers are coming."

In seconds we're peeling out of the loading bay backwards - Manute flips a bootlegger reverse and whips the car around, and we race out the back way into the windy October night as screaming cop cars pour in the main entrance. We're safe. I'm covered in blood and gore, but we're safe.

An hour later, Hydrangea steps out of my shower, wrapped in a towel. She glides into my bedroom and crawls into my bed like a cat. Her pale body glows in the candle light. We kiss again, and then we make the sweet, sweet love.

She's amazing. We have sex for like, hours. I learn more from one night with Hydrangea about sex than I did in my entire adolescence. She's got this whole tantric sex thing going on - I feel like Sting.

Eventually she falls asleep on my chest, smiling. I lay awake and replay the events of the past few days in my mind over and over. It's Halloween, my favorite time of year. This has been the best Halloween ever.

Ever.