Vogue

I went on an early patrol tonight. The city was still busy, noisy, filled with traffic. I stayed away from the office buildings of Midtown and bounced around Queen’s Row. There’s an old water tower on top of the Empress that I like to hang out on and, you know, watch over the city I was sworn to protect and shit. Anyway, I hop up on the water tower – my cleats and spiked gloves dig into the old wood – and strike a (hopefully) characteristic pose.

The view from my water tower is fantastic – out over the steaming city, beyond the Bay, the Pacific shines like molten silver. The twilight sky is pale blue. The sun is a dying glow over the horizon. A chill breeze lifts autumn leaves off the elm trees in Queen’s Row and scatters them into the air like flocks of orange birds. I love this time of year.

Back to striking poses, or “vogueing” as I like to call it. I can’t speak for other urban super-vigilantes, but I practice the poses. You have to have a couple kick-ass poses dialed in – there might be cameras or something. Everybody does it. I’ve watched the Midnight Rambler tapes, and that dude has got serious vogueing skills. I don’t know if it’s a conscious thing with him or just a natural reflection of his bad-assness, but he wrote the book on urban superhero poses. I’ll admit it, Pose #2 Monkey Boxing is a direct rip off from a pose the Rambler struck during his fight with Marko Koresh.

That’s right, I actually name and number my poses. What? It helps me keep track of them! You probably think that’s really geeky don’t you? It’s all part of the brand. One photograph in the Inquisitor of me in a bad-ass pose is all it takes to form a lasting perception of the Velvet Marauder. Think about it.

Anyway, I have practiced my vogueing long and hard in the gym and now have five solid poses in my repertoire. I perched atop the water tower in Pose #1 Vigilant Dragon, my default relaxed-yet-alert pose, and I watched the October sunset and the lights of my city come up all around me.