It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

October 01, 2004

The KOMA probe

I got a response from MY Guy right away. As usual, he – and again, I’m assuming it’s a guy – sends me an encrypted email, which I decode in the Secret Chamber on the Marauder Mac. I get an address for a private chatroom and log in. [see post Armor Update, 9/3/04]

You’ll recall I sent him the tiny pin size device that I recovered from the new InterBionics building after the “fight” with that fucking ninja. [see post I Hate Ninja, 9/18/04] Not to digress, but if I ever catch that bastard, I’m going to judo chop him in the clavicle. I don’t know how you tell ninja apart, so perhaps I should just judo chop any ninja I encounter on basic principle.

Anyway, I sent him the pin device to see if he could give me any info. At the risk of pissing off my paranoid and ultra-secretive gadget guy, I thought I would post an excerpt from our chat:

X9: The device you sent me is a KOMA probe, an advanced eavesdropping apparatus. Where did you get it?

VM: I can’t really say. I had to pummel a ninja to get it.
[I am a shameless liar]

X9: Was pummeled ninja planting this KOMA somewhere?

VM: In a building that’s under construction.

X9: It’s a very advanced design, a transmitter that powers itself by absorbing ambient heat. Commonly buried in a wall or ceiling, it’s designed as a permanent listening device. Embassies around the world have them planted in their walls. They absorb and transmit vibrations to a receiver…
[There follows two paragraphs discussing RF Output Range, frequency stability, what the acronym KOMA stands for, the empirical method, blah blah blah] ...and the only way to counteract KOMA surveillance is to detect them before they are planted or to overload them with massive vibration activity, like an earthquake.

VM: It sounds very high-end.

X9: KOMA surveillance is usually only employed by wealthy and advanced governments and corporations. It’s cutting edge technology. Where did you find it again?

VM: Can’t say. Can you tell who designed it or made it?

X9: I can tell you exactly who made it.

VM: …waiting…

X9: I made it.

Shit. My Guy made it? I just kind of assumed that he made gear for the hero set, not villains and ninjas and shit. I'm naive like that. What does this mean? Is this bad?

X9: You still there?

VM: Yeah. You sell these things retail, direct to clients, or is it a wholesale thing? Any idea who would be using it?

X9: I can’t say.

So there you have it. I have a feeling that if I was smarter, I'd be able to make sense of this. As is, I'm just getting paranoid now. I had the KOMA thing in my house, in my Secret Chamber - what if it was transmitting, what if They can pinpoint my location? I did wrap it in foil...

VM: Hey, one last thing: would wrapping it in aluminum foil stop it from transmitting?

X9: No.

Great. Ninja are going to kill me in the shower, I fucking know it.


Apollo The Dark said...

Hey Velvet Marauder,
I've been waiting for you to add comments to your blog for a while! I've read your blog for a really long time, and I love it! Exploder is the best! Keep it up.
ROcK oN!

Arwen said...

This is the good part of adding comments, Velvet Marauder, my brother and I have been followers and fans of yours practically since you started this blog thing. Thanks for adding comments, we think you're AWESOME!

Velvet Marauder said...

Apollo the Dark? Arwen? You guys aren't supervillains or anything are you? Thanks guys for the kind words. Keep rockin'.

Apollo The Dark said...

Naa. We're not supervillains. We just have supervillain-ish names. I'm actually Arwen's bro.

Lokifan said...

For GOODNESS SAKE, if you're going to call yourself by a god's name, ATTEMPT to know what you're talking about. "Apollo the Dark" makes no sense -- Apollo, the dickhead, is god of light, music and the sun. Also plagues and prophecy. Maybe you mean the music bit? But then, your sister should be Artemis. She's cool. Goddess of the moon, hunting, virginity (yeah I'm so sure. She and Huehuecoyotl SO have a thing going).
Anyway...great blog Mackenzie!