It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

February 25, 2005

Surveillance Shmurveillance

Planting the bug on that cop was a total fucking waste of time. (see post Paracrime in your face, Part Two 2/23/05) I don't know what I was thinking, that all the Paracrime Unit cops would huddle together after the fight in the Masonic Temple and helpfully review all of their plans for capturing me and maybe do a quick recap of all their weapons and resources while they're at it.

No.

No, I get none of that.

What I do gather from the audio is that they send the two cops I beat up to the Bayview emergency room for evaluation. The guy I planted the KOMA probe on is named Lucas, and the other guy is Harding. Lucas has a broken nose and they think the other guy has some cracked or maybe broken ribs. Looks like it's desk work for Officer Harding for the next month or so. That's what you get for firing a shotgun at me.

Genius that I am, I planted the KOMA probe on Lucas' armor, which they take off before he arrives at Bayview. Before they do, I get a snippet of conversation that sounds like this:

COP #1: ...taking him over now.

COP #2 (female): Okay. (sigh) So we learn anything tonight?

COP #1: Well, Bore Thunder rounds have little to no effect on him. Harding said he took a round at near point blank range, and it barely staggered him. I don't know if it's the armor, or he's just tough.

COP #2: I don't know why we even bother with non-lethal ammo on paras. Sledge... [unintelligible] ...waste of time.

COP #1: Because we're good guys, remember? We didn't know how much damage Marauder can take, what his power range is. We don't want to fucking kill the guy, E.

COP #2: Speak for yourself.

COP #1: Jesus, what a hard ass. I pity that guy if you ever get a hold of him.

(Laughter)

I do a little online research and find out that "The BORE THUNDER is a 12 gauge cartridge which produces a concussion wave similar to a diversionary grenade. This round is designed to be aimed at the floor or ceiling at a 45° degree angle and never intentionally at a subject." I feel a little better knowing that Capt. Sledge and his goons don't want me dead.

Well, not all of them anyway.

No comments: