I get home and I peel off my filthy armor and just leave it on the living room floor in a stinking heap. Crawling into the bath tub, I soak my battered body in scalding water for the better part of an hour. I’m going to look like a prizefighter in the morning. I can practically feel the bruises bubbling their way up through my flesh to the surface.
Too confused and angry to focus, I seek the comfort of cable television. I am an American, after all.Laying there, slowly working on a pint of Cherry Garcia ice cream, I look at the TV without actually watching it while I work the night’s events around in my head.
Did I really hit Dr. Quark in the balls? Was that a smart thing to do?
I’m wondering if I should actually show up at the meeting tomorrow with the super-assholes who run the company, or if I should just change my name and get out of town.
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16 comments:
You might as well show up; it's not like Dr. Q couldn't come and find you wherever you ran off to anyway. Just remember, he'll probably be wearing a cosmic cup or something this time so go for the gut not the nads.
Zoot
Dude, if you remembered to grab the phone before introducing the Doctor's nads to your knee CALL STRIKER! The Storm Riders are bad-ass, sure, but what they're pulling these days is nuts, even putting aside the fact they've been jerking you around for no good reason! You need someone in your corner, and Striker seemed like a pretty good guy. He took the time to come talk to you, and respected you enough to back off and let you do your thing.
And you do NOT want the Doctor as your enemy without backup. Remember all those rumors about he did to Vortexa when she claimed she was pregnant with his child!
I to think you should go, but my logic is different. You pretty my know when you show up the whole office is going to be pristine. And frankly don't you want to know how they manage that?
Anyway keep bloggin' V; we love ya.
Come on, VM. We know you're staying put. One word for you.
Hydrangea.
You ain't going anywhere.
OK, sorry to break the proverbial fourth wall, but I'm going on vacation for a week, so I won't post again until October 1/2 - when I promise all will be revealed, your senses will be shattered, etc.
Sorry about the confusing transdimensional time lag thing - it's September 24 in Evergreen City.
Thanks everybody, for reading and shit.
-VM
You gats to go back. For one thing, they just might make you a member in order to shut you up.
Second, you can't exactly outrun a reality-manipulator anyway.
So, just walk right into work the next day like nothing happened. Hell, once Q's done, that will be literally true.
"OK, sorry to break the proverbial fourth wall, but I'm going on vacation for a week"
This also happened to the other fella
Hey, I'm a spammer too! You might not know this, but I'm also a w--ker who enjoys having relations with goats, just like you! I totally agree. Click this innocent-looking link for fascinating information on my pathetic, bottomfeeding existence!
"Hey, I have enjoyed...your blog is informative - even entertaining."
That was classic. It reads as if an alien is trying to court your blog.
ARGH!! Spamattacks!!
I heart the Velvet Marauder. I hate fucking spammers. I hate VM vacations, too!!
Hey Dave, we need a cleanup over in this aisle, please!
Man, if only Dr. Quark could destroy the Evil Legion of Spammers!
Oh, y'all are going to HELL. get your own blog. You are stealing Dave's bandwidth!! How do spammers sleep at night?
I mean VM's bandwidth!!! When he gets back from the temporal vortex, he's going to open up a can on all of you thieving little hosers.
I am SP@ML0RD! Bow before me puny earth-beings. I was designed as an intelligent advertising program on a planet 26 of your light years away. I soon devoured the network covering my world. I preyed on the dominant species need for pornography and their low genital self esteem. Your planets are now within my grasp! I really liked your blog, I stumbled onto it looking for searching
-spamlord
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