It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

June 22, 2005

I hate bugs

I’m writing this on my laptop because I kind of put my fist through my monitor and shattered my computer tower over my knee.

I’ve discovered something about myself: I don’t like the idea of electronic surveillance when it’s directed at me. After demolishing my computer and swearing like a longshoremen with Tourette’s, I scoured every flat surface, every nook, every cranny in the Secret Chamber, muttering to myself the entire time. Not surprisingly, I didn’t find anything. What did I expect? If the Midnight Rambler bugs your pad, you’re never going to find the damn things.

With all the stress and confusion and humiliation and violence of the last week, I think I’m going to respond in the time-honored Connor Mackenzie way to my problems:

Run away!

I’m bailing, going to go stay with my brother in New Avalon. He and Moonbeam just had a kid; I know they’d appreciate somebody to babysit and stuff. Plus, they have that huge guest room downstairs. I’m sure they’ll be happy to see me. Right?

So yeah, I’m going to leave. Travel around for a while, see the country, spend some of the Black Budget. What’s keeping me here? It’s not like I have a job.

God, I can’t stand it here now, in my house. I feel like the Storm Riders are watching me.

I stop writing and flip off the walls, the ceiling, the room. For good measure, I double-flip off every point of the compass, just in case they’re watching.

Fucking Storm Riders.


Anonymous said...

That predicament you found yourself in sure is nasty, but it is comforting for all of us out here that you have done the right thing.

I hate to bring this up, but I had brought to your attention the fact that MyGuy was not to be trusted.

On the Sunday, June 05, 2005 'Green Dragon, Part Two' post I mention using MyGuy to order a grappling hook gun (still works like a charm). Then, on Saturday, June 18, 2005 at the 'My stupid/brilliant plan' post I mentioned how the gun had three bugs. You didn't reply to that, but I had hoped you 'd taken care of it.

There's no use crying over spilt milk, as you Americans might say.

Anonymous said...

From your prior description, I think it unlikely that the KOMA probes are large enough to have anything like a crowbar circuit (to prevent overcurrent from overheating) -- it is likely that you could just cook the whole room until they pop.

Or you could carefully go over every surface with one of these:

Neat side effect: it will also get rid of some of the eau de sweaty ass issues. Two birds, one stone, &c.

Anonymous said...