It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

June 01, 2005

Psyching myself up

The Velvet Marauder is going to contact Margo tonight.

I prep myself for the op in the Secret Chamber, by eating leftover phad thai and watching movie trailers on the MarauderMac.

I look around the Chamber.

The black Marauder armor is mounted against the wall, dramatically lit by a mini-floodlight. The faux velvet jacket and headpiece hang on a mannequin in the corner. The moody lighting and gratuitous support arches makes the Secret Chamber look like a the bridge of the submarine. Half a dozen TV screens glow in the gloom, and the soft murmur of the police band fills the soundproof Chamber. This is the nerve center of my crime fighting war… and it stinks like a fucking yeti. I’ve got to get better ventilation in the Chamber. Seriously, it smells like wet ass in here.

I open the secret panel in my living room wall, hoping to air the Chamber out a little.

Setting the issue of the stink aside, there’s good news on the superhero front. I just read an AP report that my buddy Wombat defeated Yiff in battle down in San Francisco. I guess Wombat was a guest of honor at a Gay Rights Parade and Yiff jumped him. They had a big battle right there on this float, and Wombat put his ass down. And fast, too. I mean, the footage on the TV makes it look like Wombat takes him out in like, five seconds flat, which is kind of weird. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Wombat couldn’t take care of Yiff, it’s just that I thought I was stronger than Wombat, you know, and it took me a while to defeat Yiff when I fought him. Maybe he gassed him or something, I don’t know. I should email him and find out.

Okay, I’m almost ready. Have to wait for it to get dark. I crack a Red Bull.

What am I going to say to Margo? Should I be all stoic and quiet, or should I just let my freak flag fly?

I don’t think about it and rate the cute kittens on and wait for it to get dark.

No comments: