It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

June 14, 2005

My new enemy: Singing Guy

There’s a guy in our office who sits near my bitch Chad out in the non-restricted area of the ninth floor who sings when he talks. I mean, not every word or anything, but the guy sings when he should speak. Every time I see this guy in the hall or in an elevator or wherever, he sings his salutations. He’s like a one-man Glee Club.

I have a presentation at two for the steering committee, and I have this snazzy hand-out that I whipped up in Publisher that I’m passing out to everybody. I need Chad to run off a couple dozen color copies so I walk out to his desk to give him a disc with the file on it.

Singing Guy is leaning against Chad’s desk with a cup of coffee in his hand. So as not to be a dick, I say hi as I walk up.

Singing Guy literally sings, “Good morn-innnng!”

I look at him and managed a pained smile. “You have a good weekend?” I ask.

“Soooper, soooper,” he says lyrically. It sounds like he’s about to bust out in some Gilbert & Sullivan number. “Got some golfin’ in, never bad, never bad…” He pantomimes swinging a golf club as he sings.

“Right on,” I say unenthusiastically, then turn to Chad. I don’t want to encourage Singing Guy by feeding him anymore questions.

I give Chad the disc and some brief instructions, then excuse myself. “See you later.”

“Have a good one!” Singing Guy sings.

Briefly I consider punching his jaw clean off his face. I could, you know.

10 comments:

Faceless Henchwoman said...

Do it! Do it! Punch his head off! Kick it to the moon!

Gus said...

I like to kick would-be rapists in the 'nads. But that's my funny way of saying to my city that I don't particularly like its people. Or, er... I don't wish to talk about this now.


Good to have you back, VM.

Velvet Marauder said...

Faceless henchwoman is like a little devil on my shoulder, whispering in my friggin' ear!

Verity Kindle said...

C'mon now, that's not how superheroes behave. What would Aquaman think if he were here now? Singing Guy is obviously a supervillain who is trying to drive you insane and/or get you to reveal your secret identity. Fight fire with fire. Try humming tunelessly while gutting fish on his desk.

Dark Blight said...

HA! No I think Verity Kindle is the devil on the shoulder: dressed like an angle, her advice is sweet, sweet, evil!!

good on you Verity! We need more like you amongst our ranks.... now i gotta get back to those begonias..

Bwah Ha Ha...
*absently kneeding hands while pondering the evil*

Dark Blight said...

DRAT! foiled again by those blasted key fairies.... always rearranging letters with the sole intent of making me look the fool... WELL I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU!!!!

dfsjhklsfdahiosdhkl SDKAFLJ SDFAJKL; I COI; WSDFN/KFWES

what i meant to say was: "...dressed like an angel..."

*friggen key fairies*

Faceless Henchwoman said...

Considering your strength, I could sit on your shoulder, VM, but I'd have a hard time whispering into your ear at the same time.

I do have a devil outfit, though! Red leather bustier and short-shorts, tie-on tail, horns, and knee-length red leather boots...

The Chromium Pugilist said...

Hey! I have that same outfit!

Though when I wear it, everybody stares.

Not in a good way, either.

Stupid predefined gender roles...

razorsmile said...

Briefly I consider punching his jaw clean off his face. I could, you know.

You've been reading Cla$$war, haven't you?

Glad you're back.

Anonymous said...

The singing gut is just a stupid fucking mormon...