It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

June 09, 2005

Margo Report

“—so I’m trapped, right? Inside the car. The passenger seat has sort of been smooshed all around my right leg, and I can’t reach the seat belt. I’m freaking out, getting really claustrophobic. The car feels like it’s collapsing around me, right? I’m hyperventilating.”

“Kind of like Margot Kidder at the end of Superman,” I interject.

Margo stops telling her story, thrown off. “What?”

“In Superman. The movie. The scene at the end with the earthquake, you know, where Lois Lane’s car gets crushed and all the dirt’s pouring in and stuff…”

“Is that the one with Richard Pryor?” Margo asks.


“Oh. I think I’ve only seen the one with Richard Pryor.”

Superman III,” I say. “That one sucks.”

“I thought so,” she says.

“The first one’s good, though. And half of the second one.”

She takes a sip of her latte. “Can we get back to my story? Can I get a little Margo time here?”

“Sorry, go ahead,” I say.

“Where was I?”

“Trapped. Hyperventilating.”

She continues excitedly recounting the fight between The Velvet Marauder (moi) and Green Dragon from her unique perspective inside her crushed and flaming Nissan. We’re sitting on the patio at the Starbucks in the lobby of our building, Margo and I, drinking our various beverages and taking a long lunch. It’s another beautiful day in Evergreen City – blue skies and seagulls.

The wind makes Margo’s hair dance. She’s wearing a sleeveless white top with a cardigan draped over her toned shoulders, and she has white Jackie O sunglasses on. I think she’s fabulous.

She gets to the part where I knock Green Dragon out. “And this Green Dragon guy is choking him, right? With this wire. He’s on Velvet Marauder’s back pulling back really hard. I thought his head was going to come off.” So did I. “And so Velvet Marauder’s got this guy on his back, right, strangling him. What do you think he does?”

I shrug or shake my head or something, pretending like I don’t know.

“He hops up into the ceiling. The dragon guy’s head goes conk against the ceiling, and he just goes limp. I can still hear the noise his head made when he hit the concrete or cement or whatever. Ugh.”

“Wow,” I say.

“I know! It was the most terrifying and exciting thing that has ever happened to me! I mean, it was like: big superhero battle, right there!”

“Wow…” I say.

“Oh, and you know what he says, The Velvet Marauder? Right after he smashes Green Dragon’s head into the ceiling, he goes, ‘Low overhead clearance, asshole.’ I mean, it was just like what you would expect a superhero to say, it was brilliant!”

It makes my heart smile to hear that.

“That’s awesome,” I say. “So then what?”

“Oh, by then the cops were about to show up. He took the mask off Green Dragon and split before they could arrive.” Margo smiles. “But not before I kissed him.”

My heart suddenly starts thumping around in my ribcage. “You kissed him? For real?”

“Well, it wasn’t like a total passionate kiss or anything, but yeah. I gave him a little sugar.”


She swats my arm in faux outrage. “No! It was just like a little thank you thing. Nothing sexual. Although I wouldn’t rule anything out…” Her eyebrows arch a little when she says that.

Hunh. So Margo digs The Velvet Marauder.

“I heard he was gay,” I say, fishing for more info.

“I read that somewhere, but I don’t think so,” she says. “He didn’t register on my gaydar.”

I laugh. “Not that it would be bad if he was,” I add, unnecessarily.

“It would be for me!” she says.

“I don’t know, Margo. Having a crush on a superhero is so cliché.”

“You say that because you’ve never been rescued by one,” she says.

We both drink our lattes in a comfortable quiet. God, I am so happy right now.


Anonymous said...

Dude, you are IN

Anonymous said...

Awesome. She digs your cookies, dude! Just as long as she doesn't think that Connor is gay. Her feelings on that subject are still up for debate. but I for one will defend to the death your right to be well-dressed and straight.

Frank said...

Your cover story is in danger dude! According to your story VM did save your (Connor's) life.

Also Im pretty sure your bosses are the Storm Riders.

David Campbell said...