I got a seat on the bus going home tonight and I got to play a little Pokemon on my Gameboy Advanced. I'm addicted to this game; my seagull Pokemon is a total badass.
As I think I've established, I'm not a big fan of the bus. I'm down with the concept of public transportation, I think it's a great idea, but I don't see myself as taking part in it - except maybe for fighting ninjas on top of a speeding monorail or something. I need to get a car.
I don't know if the Honda Element is for me -- my usually reliable coolness radar has failed me, and I can't tell if it's cool in an ironic "I get this car" kind of way, or if it's a soccer dad thing. I solicit my co-worker's opinion on the matter. I think the answers reveal how people think of me.
Q: What kind of car should I get?
SURFER DAVE: You should get one of those new Volkswagen bugs. A pink one.
TODD: What? Who cares?
WOOKIE: A Nissan Murano.
DRAGON LADY: Oh, are you getting a new car?
KIETH: One of those Minis.
CORI: I don't know. Something cute.
MICHAEL CHAN: A Volvo station wagon.
TED THE TACO GUY: A fucking old Saab, dude. Those are cool, you need something retro.
FRED SCHNEIDER*: He's right, a Saab. Those are fabulous. But get a new one.
LORETTA: A Jetta.
Conclusion: Everyone thinks I'm gay.
*Not really Fred Schneider, we just call him that. I think his name's Rob.