It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

December 02, 2004

Jet boots or gyrocopter?

I get an email back from My Guy in response to my request for some sort of aerial upgrade to the Marauder armor:

This is possible. You have four options:

1) Flight (expandable wings w/ propulsion, jet boots)
2) Gliding (expandable wings)
3) Mechanical Assist (grappling hook, “webline,” pogo platform)
4) Vehicle (air scooter, gyrocopter)

For the first three options, I would need your body armor for approx 1 week. Let me know.


I don’t think I can afford an air scooter, so the Vehicle option is out. The Flight option seems too expensive and over-the-top and strays too far from the brand image. I’m an urban avenger, you know? Plus, I think I’d kill myself. As far as the Mechanical Assist option, same argument: I’d just kill myself using a webline, or at the very least humiliate myself by swinging into a skyscraper. I’m not Black Ant or Arachnita or any of the other insecty heroes.

So that leaves Gliding. I wonder how that works, are there like, wings that flip out like a switchblade or are there skydiving/flying squirrel type wings?

I make the arrangements to ship my suit to one of My Guy’s PO Boxes. This means I have to wear my uncomfortable back-up armor, but in a week or two I’ll be flying! Gliding, anyway.

Pogo platform? What the hell is a pogo platform?

8 comments:

Kid Hollywood said...

Oh yea, for sure.
I think you should go with the Jet Boots.
But the wings, I don't know.
Sounds like those could be trouble. I guess if they retract whenever you want, you could get real good at closing them right before you land and fubar some bad guy.
Without them, you might end up looking like Iron Man.
I guess people will stop comparing you to The Midnight Rambler regardless eh?
That guy is a Batman wanna be anyway. With a hard on for Boba FettI dunno, kids seem to like him. So I guess he isn't all bad.

Jet Boots for sure.
Wings if they are quick to expand and retract.
Still sounds like trouble.
Shit, don't listen to me. What the fuck do I know about being a super hero. You want to know how to get addicted to porn? Then you come talk to me.

KH

Velvet Marauder said...

Hey, KH how do you do that hotlink thing in the comments field? That's keen.

Thank you for your input re: jet boots and your well-intended but ignorant comments about the Midnight Rambler, who is way cooler than Batman. You better recognize.

I'm not sold on the jet boots - I really think I might hurt myself. I mean, I run into shit all the time as it is; I don't know if I want to give myself more opportunities to run into shit.

Castor said...

Sun Tzu tells us not to join the enemy on his field but instead to wait for them to join yours.
Perhaps you should explore the idea of a grounding device to disable the flight of your enemies. This will remove an advantage they depend on and make them fight on your terms instead of putting you in on unfamiliar terrain against experienced foes.

Alternately there are several magical means of flight you have left yet unexplored. As a freelance magus I may be able to assist you with such endeavors.

C~

Kid Hollywood said...

Ahh, a lesson in HTML.

I just put HTML into my comment. That Iron Man link, for example, looked like this when I posted it:

<a href="http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/i/ironman.htm/">Iron Man</a>

( getting that to display as text instead of an actual link is another lesson )

One thing that I think Blogger should give you the option of doing when you post a link is use the "target" option.

When the user clicks a link in your blog post, it opens a new browser instead of navigating the current one away from your page.
I can't show an example here because Blogger does not allow it in comments, but it does in main blog posts.

It looks like this:

<a href="http://www.marveldirectory.com/individuals/i/ironman.htm" target="_blank">Iron Man</a>

Notice the target="_blank" in there.
If you "Edit HTML" when you are writing your blogs, you can add that line manually, and it will then open a new browser when the link is clicked.

Might be too much trouble. If the reader is using IE, then all you have to do is hold down the shift key, and click to get a new window.

That is all kids, now go out there and have some fun.

KH

Velvet Marauder said...

Thank you, HTML guru. I'll try that.

Thanks to Castor as well for the wise words.

Velvet Marauder said...

Thank you, HTML guru. I'll try that.

Thanks to Castor as well for the wise words.

Kid Hollywood said...

Who the hell is Sun Tzu?
Was he one of the guys in Loudness?
Gotta love those rock and roll Crazy NightsI bet Highway Star knows.

KH

K.Fox, Jr. said...

KH, dude, not cool. Sun Tzu is the writer of 'The Art of War', a novel EVERY warrior, including the VM, should read, IF they get the chance. Not tryin' to hate or nothin', though. I agree with your ideas for flight and your opinion on Midnight Rambler. I mean, Rambler? Geez. Anyway, Batman's definitely cooler, VM, though I'm sure he (Midnight Rambler) has his strong points. Peace, homies.