It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

December 11, 2004

I believe I can fly

I got my armor back from My Guy with the glider mods I requested, plus a couple pages of instructions.
I am stoked. Stoked, I tell you!

I try the suit on in my living room. It feels the same, but now my shoulder cape can transform into a delta shaped glider wing that should enable me to fly... sort of. I have lockable hardpoints on my gauntlets and at the small of my back. To "fly," I snap the shoulder cape to the three hardpoints and the cape stretches out to make a "wing-like surface." When I'm done, I just unclip the wing and it retracts back into place as my shoulder cape.
It strikes me that the instructions for this are pretty general, full of helpful tips like "avoid dangerous updrafts." You think there would be and instructional DVD or something. Here is the meat of the instructions:

The webbing under the shoulder cape creates a wing-like surface area that will slow your fall rate from 120 MPH to approximately 50-70 MPH. At the same time, the wing structures can increase your forward speed from zero to over 80 MPH.
The CAD designed semi-rigid plastic ribs and low-drag material enhance the "flight" experience and the webbing collapses easily under your shoulder cape when not in use. The webbing is flame retardant and bullet proof. Great care must be exercised when gliding in urban environments due to updrafts and unpredictable air currents. Gliding in extreme low temperatures is also not recommended; if the webbing frosts up its efficacy will be greatly reduced.
I am fucking psyched. I'm trying this thing tonight!

1 comment:

K.Fox, Jr. said...

Yeah dude, you can be like Batman or, to lower your self-esteem, the bad-chick from Charlie's Angels 2 at the end of the movie, where she glides down onto her blue-with-white-stripes Shelby Cobra. Awesomeness!

PS-I don't know why I bother but, do you like the English metal band, IRON MAIDEN? They're awesome.