It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

May 22, 2005

Patrol Report

For patrol tonight I hop around Midtown and Queen's Row listening to a mix on the suit's audio system.

It's a beautiful, warm night in the E.C. and it seems like everybody's out on the town. Nothing too out of the ordinary; I stop three drunk guys from picking on a skater kid by slapping them around a little, I push a stalled truck out of a busy intersection to the appreciative honks and cheers of all involved, and I chase off some kids tagging The Gap. You know, if they were doing one of those cool grafiti murals I wouldn't give a shit, but I can't stand these punks that just tag stuff. It's like a dog marking his territory by peeing, only dumber.

Other than that, I just kind of play around, enjoying my nocturnal acrobatics. I end my patrol on top of the Bank One building in Pose #1, Vigilant Dragon, gazing out over greater Evergreen City's twinkling starfield of lights. A big white cruise ship glows in The Bay. Usually there are three of these monsters in The Bay on the weekends, loading people for Alaska cruises, but not this year. People are too freaked out that they're Love Boat is going to get attacked by The Kraken, and who can blame them?

I've been thinking about my upcoming meeting with Margo. As the Velvet Marauder, I mean. I promised her (as Connor) that I'd get in touch with VM this week, so I have a few days to mull it over. How should I do this, should I call her as the Velvet Marauder? Show up on the deck of her condo in the middle of the night like Batman and pray she isn't armed? Leave a note with rendezvous instructions for her at work?

Hey... what about my voice? Shit, I hadn't thought of that! I don't have a Velvet Marauder voice, I just sound like Connor Mackenzie. She's going to know it's me the second I open my mouth!



razorsmile said...

Well what're you waiting for? Go talk to My Guy, stat!

Date of post: 7:54 Tuesday May 31 2005

Anonymous said...


VM could hab a code, amb talk like hib node id duffed up. Not bery heroic, dough.

Anonymous said...

I suggest adopting a bad accent. Sure, it'll sound fake, but you're already wearing a mask, for cryin' out loud.

I don't pretend my mask is my face, so why should I pretend my voice is real?

When in costume, I adopt a French accent. Originally I tried to sound sophisticated, but it comes out like Pepe Le Pew via Batroc the Leaper.

"Zees is in-toler-a-bluh! I weel stop zees insanity tout sweet!"

Now I just roll with it. Chicks dig it.

Trust me.

Anonymous said...

is writing "they're Love Boat" (meaning "they are Love Boat") a typo?

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