It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

May 17, 2005

Patrol Report

I am off my game.

On patrol tonight I feel awkward and out of shape. Sure, I can still jump 50 yards with no problem, but I don't stick my landings like I usually do. I start off my patrol in the South End, listening to Ministry on my suit's audio system, but after I trip over some rooftop wires twice, I turn off the music and just focus on where I'm putting my feet and plotting out my next jump before I actually commit to the jump. Man, I take a few weeks off and my roof-running skills go to shit.

No crime tonight, or at least nothing going down right in front of me. I decide to call it a night after I overshoot my landing on a rooftop in Chinatown and crash into Happy Wok's neon sign, demolishing it in a spray of sparks and glass.

My bad.


gorjus said...

VM, hanging out with the Wombat is totally a bad influence on you.

The Chromium Pugilist said...

Oooh, be careful. I screwed up and crashed into some "neon" signs about six months back. I don't know what was in those tubes, but it sure wasn't neon.

The gases caused me to mutate. Not a lot, I didn't turn into a sixty-foot ape or anything, but it was bad enough to make life really, really suck for a while. Do you need three arms? 'Cause I sure don't!

Couple of cold compresses and a lucky shot from Doktor Insaniac's maser cannon took care of it a week later, but still.

If you feel persistent itching or notice any extra limbs growing out of you, get help as fast as you can.

Zoot said...

The Chromium Pugilist said:
If you feel persistent itching or notice any extra limbs growing out of you, get help as fast as you can.

and it always happens just before the big date, too. Make sure you take that one last look in the mirror before you head out VM!

Oh,and check your breath, too. Can't be too careful.


'Gus' said...

hey VM,
as an aspiring vigilante (no meta/extra-human powers so far), I have to ask you this : during which hours did you operate? (prior to the Costa Rica holiday)

And ...
how do you manage combining the yuppie-by-day facade with your night-time antics - in regards to sleep ? (yoga perhaps, or your metahuman physiology?)

Man, every time I go out to work - the next morning I feel like a wet sack of potatoes ; and being a cub photographer this doesn't help a bit. I'd greatly appreciate your insight on this.

PS I don't fully grasp the difference between inverted commas and quotation marks - yet