It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

April 28, 2005

Still on vacation...

I'm learning to SCUBA dive. And I'm drinking.

I met a nice Canadian backpacker chick who is now staying with me in my condo and having the sex with me and making me food, so that's good.

Have I mentioned the drinking?

39 comments:

razorsmile said...

Superpowers, a woman that cooks, cleans and beds, safety and security from your enemies ... you've clearly got it all.

Are you happy?

Anonymous said...

Assuming of course that this chick isn't an undercover Malefactor....

Velvet Marauder said...

Shit.

Anonymous said...

I do believe that Costa Rica has made the Velvet Marauder soft and weak! He's allowing some canuck hussy pamper and baby him like he’s some sort of young, infant, uh…baby. Snorkeling and drinking?!? These are not the activities of a vigilante! These are the actions of my uncle Sal when he takes Auntie Lois on a Princess Cruise [a.k.a. The Love Boat]. While you’re below the equator lounging on the Lido Deck like Charo danger looms in Evergreen City! I certainly cannot fault anyone for getting a little tail, but when will you again make sweet, sweet love to Lady Justice?!? Your city needs you, VM!

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You gotta get back soon! I'm dying to find out some answers here. Like who was that ninja working for? Who was the elf who helped you at the Christmas party? Why do your supervillain bosses seem to know about -- and approve of -- your superheroing? And why don't you just make a move on Margo already??

Matt said...

Perhaps our beloved Marauder died ignobly in a SCUBA related accident? Perhaps he suffered a failure of resolve and, in a fit of cowardice, decided to remain in Costa Rica and live the life of a simple coffee picker? Perhaps he fell madly in love with his new gal pal, told her his super identity and she made him promise to give it up or, “not get any”? Perhaps the Velvet Marauder was viscously tortured and beaten by his numerous foes? Perhaps he just sits in his hotel room and cries the night away, knowing that he abandoned the good fight. The fight against everything that is bad, rotten and Un-American….

Thank God real heroes, like Latigo Flint, are still out there, fighting the good fight.

Velvet Marauder said...

Damn you! Damn you alllll!!!!

(sobbing)

Zoot said...

Now that Tom has sent a bunch of us new readers over (and we've had a few days to go through all the archives and get caught up), you have to start blogging again and let us know what happened next, right?

Right?

Unless you are actually picking coffee with a Canadian backpacker. I don't really need to hear about that.

Anonymous said...

Velvet Marauder, come back to us! Your public needs you . . . word is the Baron's been seen again . . .

Übermilf said...

I am so glad to see a fellow defender of justice start a blog. You have given me, The Tongue Lasher, courage to start one of my own. As soon as I get out of this red leather suit. OUCH. Sorry, I just sat on my barbed whip.

Nice meeting you, VM.

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KnightHawk said...

Fuck these people Velvet M! You have stopped what FIVE deadly threats to your city? So you want som R&R and some Canadian sweets. Good for you.

Dude, there is this kiddie show host on CBC who is fucking slammin!
Canadian chick are hot.

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