It's like Bridget Jones' Diary, but with a super-powered vigilante.

November 04, 2005

Back in the E.C.

Well, that was interesting.

Maybe I’ll get around to chronicling my cross-country adventures and my stay in New Avalon someday – sort of a “Velvet Marauder: The Lost Adventures” type of thing. Suffice to say I had a number of interesting and dangerous misadventures traveling this Great Land of Ours. I learned a few things about myself along the way, as well as crushing cultists, having sex with a mysterious female hitcher, nearly getting turned into a werewolf, battling mutant bikers, and enjoying roadside café food. You know, the usual road trip stuff. It was like one big long episode of BJ and The Bear, only with no chimpanzee.

Now I’m back, and my house smells dusty and stale. Evergreen City looks a little different; the corner store down the street is gone and they’re putting up townhouses in its place, monorail construction is coming along, and they’ve begun building that suspension bridge across the mouth of The Bay. Looks like there’s been a spike in gang activity in Chinatown – Judo Boys versus a new gang. Paracrime bagged another superfreak last month.

So, I’m back, but I have one question:

Who the hell is Paleowolf and what is he doing in my city?

10 comments:

Verity Kindle said...

Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan said...

Welcome back, VM - the city sounds different without you. More creepy high-pitched sireny, less, well, justice-y.

Glad to see that your break coincided with an apparent "Crisis on Velvet Maurader's Earth" that brought your timeline back in sync with ours.

Faceless Henchwoman said...

I want to hear all about the trip eventually, but for now, I just want to know if the hitcher was the werewolf.

Quaalude Thunder said...

I just made it through all your archives -- you rule. (Although you really shouldn't have hit Dr. Quark. (I had Dr. Quark identified once you described him after the space-zombie press conference.))

Keep up the great work.

CliveQ said...

Okay I need some advice, Ive Just discovered that I have Super-Human(Meta-Human?) abilities. Okay now my power seems to be, don't laugh, my power seems to be balance. I have really really good balance. I can also kind of control my balance ie. I can shift my balance to any part of my body and comfortably stay that way as if I were standing normally for example I can balance on my fingers as if that were normal or on my nose literally any body part. Yeah even that. Trust me I tried. Also I cant lose my balance. Ever. So my problem is should I become a hero/vigilante? Do I have to? Cause I'm kinda of a pussy. Yet I feel I should be doing something. I mean I don't wanna be the only super-person sittin on his ass actin like a norm. Also if, just for the sake of argument, if I did choose the hero thing what should I call myself? BalanceLad? EquilibriBoy? The Un-Fall-Able Pussy? Anyway just if any of you veterans have any, you know, advice or suggestions or anything. Thanks.
Oh p.s. VM love the blog. Can you not get some sort of bug blocking electro-tastic device to prevent any one spying on you again? Wouldnt thet be cool like some kind of cloaking device where like spy shit automatically zones out when you're around? Just a thought.

Velvet Marauder said...

Clive Q, I have three words of advice for you: Cirque de Soleil. You'll make a fortune.

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